Monday, February 11, 2013

Until My Heart Caves In

I had a health scare these last few weeks. After two trips to the doctor and one to the lab for some blood work (with both kids in tow!), I finally have some answers..... and they are
GOOD!!

I have spent a large part of my life not feeling good, constantly having stomach troubles and feeling aggressive. 4 years ago it was nice to find out that 95% of my problems were being caused by PCOS (see my previous post for more info here). 

Two years ago today we went gluten-free, dairy-free and legume-free. It was a rough first couple of weeks. I'll be honest, I cried several times in the grocery store because I had no idea what to buy to feed my starving husband. He was a good sport about eating salad, lots and lots of salads!

Today (I won't go into all the messy details) I was so blessed to find out that my blood work, hormone, insulin and thyroid levels were all in "normal" range. Hallelujah!!! I have been out of range for years and have paperwork that declares me as infertile (now I have paperwork that says I am very fertile!). 

I am so in awe of God's 
amazing goodness 
right now. It has been a long road; one filled with tears, anger, brokenness, struggles, and heart-ache. I can't even begin to explain how much Matt and I have gone through in the last 7 years due to my health. I am so 
grateful
 for him and his support. It would have been impossible for me to go through everything by myself and I can't imagine a better person to support me through everything. 

On the way home (to rescue my mom who was graciously watching both my rambunctious kiddos for me), all the health changes that we have made two years ago began to flow back through my mind. I became so 
thankful 
that God has brought the PCOS book to my attention (here is a link to the book that I based my lifestyle and eating on now, and yes, I did read all 500 pages). I feel
  blessed 
to have Matt be so supportive me of and my health. He has championed and fought for me and my well-being on every occasion. 

Between being gluten-free, (mostly) dairy-free, eating limited amounts of grains, limited legumes, and my new  breakfast smoothie (a Budwig based smoothie designed to treat and prevent cancer. You can get more info here) I am feeling amazing (and my blood work proves it!). 

I know the road ahead won't be paved in gold and it will not be even ground, but I 
know 
that God is for me, He is the 
redeemer of all things
I will always have great friends and family that will support me, and I will be always looking ahead to the horizon and 
believing 
that He works all things together for my good. 

These song lyrics are the best words that I can find to express how I am feeling today:

If I had no voice,
If I had no tongue,
I would dance for you like the rising sun.
And when that day comes and I see your face.
I will shout your endless glorious praise.

You are the song I’m singing.
You are the air,
You are the air I’m breathing
You are the hope,
You are the hope I needed.

and

I'm a warrior
With a warrior's heart
And it burns for you
For you
My love is fierce 
(My love is fierce)
I'm a warrior
(I'm a warrior)
I would die for you
Give it all for you

I won't give up
I won't give up on you
I won't give up on you
I will sing your name 
Until my heart caves in
Until my heart caves in

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