Where is God in our brokenness? Where is He when we are heartbroken? Where is God in my sorrow and grief? Why did God let this happen?
These are common questions that we (or our friends) ask when bad things happen. We tend to start asking a bunch of "why" and "how could You" questions. We sometimes throw blame and anger God's way. We struggle for words when our spirits are too broken to manage them.
Then time passes and we start to see through our tears instead of having our vision completely clouded by them. That is when we have a choice to make: where do I go from here?
It is up to us, we get to choose where we go from there. When we are at the bottom we get to choose to remain there or start moving out of the pit. Staying there for a season to grieve and mourn your loss is okay, it is okay to cry and grieve and feel the way that you are feeling. But staying in that pit turns hope into despair and makes us weaker. We must choose to STAND UP and start walking.
But where to? Where do we go? The logical answer would be to turn to God. But did you realize that He was already standing right beside you? Even in the bottom of the pit, in the middle of your tears and crying and loss He was right there, lying in the mud beside you. Covering Himself in ashes with you, He mourned right beside you.
A common misconception is that God is only angry or happy. God has emotions and feelings. He cries and rejoices. He grieves with us, He cries with us. When Lazarus died and Mary and Martha came to their friend Jesus, they cried out to Him in despair, with broken hearts filled with grief. Jesus responded by crying with them. When he saw their breaking hearts and tears his heart was moved. "when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. " (John 11:33 NKJV). Two verses later it simply says, "Jesus wept."
God cries. And He cries with us. Things that break our hearts break His heart too. He never desires for us to be sad or broken or hurt. He never wants to see us suffering. And yes, things in life happen that cause us to feel those ways. We live in a fallen world, filled with sorrow and
evil. Bad things are going to happen to us. God never promised they wouldn't, but He did promise that He would never leave us or abandon us.
So cry with Him. Let Him be the one you run to when you cry, because He will hold you and cry with you.
Then stand up. Yes, that's right.
Stand up.
Where do you go from here? How do you move on in life knowing that the same terrible thing could happen again? How do you move forward? Do you pretend that nothing happened? Do you put up walls around you to guard your heart from future pain?
God promised that His love and strength and grace were enough for us. That in our weakness His strength is made perfect. Being broken is a pretty good example of being weak. His love is so amazing, it is perfect.
There is nothing, that's right, NOTHING in the universe that can separate us from God's love. His "love" switch is always, ALWAYS on. And His love is perfect. And unconditional. He gives us beauty for ashes, joy for our mourning, and praise instead of despair. (Is 61:3).
If we believe what God said. If we trust Him that he trades us weakness for strength, mourning for joy, and gives us beautiful things when we hand Him our ashes; then why in the world would we choose to stay in that pit of despair any longer?
So we stand up, looking at His perfect face and all the love that burns in His eyes for us, and we take a step forward. While we step forward we look at His eyes and trust that His love is enough, enough to cover the future, enough to cover the potential pain and sorrow, and enough to rejoice with us with the promised blessings.
I love the words to Mandisa's song "The Distance"
Oh, it’s amazing
Your love is piercing
The distance
And You won’t stop, You won’t stop
Even in my weakest moment
I can feel You closin’ the distance
And You won’t stop, You won’t stop
Nothing can separate us
No one can stand between
From beginning to the end
Your love is enough, enough
Nothing can separate us
No one can separate us
His love is always there.
So we stand up from our mourning, and look for that love. The love that is enough and strong enough to pierce through the darkest, saddest part of our hearts.
It all comes down to faith and trust. If we can look at Him and believe that He will take care of us in the future, what do we have to fear? Because every good and perfect thing comes from above, and everything that is good or perfect will be redeemed by Him to be made so.
But then again, knowing what we need to do doesn't make it any easier to actually do.
I'm still here. I'm not sitting anymore, I am standing up. I just can't seem to take a step forward. I know that God is standing beside me and that every time I cry He is crying too. The way out looks so far away.... but I know that it is only a short distance, one that can easily be pierced by His love.