Thursday, January 5, 2012

I Kicked Infertility's Ass (twice!)

"But to those of you who fear My name, the Son of Righteousness shall arise with healing in His wings..."
~Malachi 4:2

Four years ago; after a miscarriage, removal of my right Fallopian tube, and a diagnosis of PCOS, we were told my two different doctors that we would never be able to get pregnant on our own. An ultrasound showed that I had absolutely no healthy tissue on either ovary. 

I was devastated to say the least. We spent the next couple years trying everything we could to conceive with no luck. 

Sanctus Real has a song with lyrics that say, "Whatever You're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but now I can see. This is something bigger than  me, larger than life, something Heavenly." I clung to these words as I felt tossed around in a raging storm in the dark. 

God gave me a vision while Matt and I were driving back from Yellowstone. It was of a little girl. I saw myself very vividly giving birth to her, what she looked like, how much she weighed, what her name was, etc. She was beautiful! Two months later He let me hold her during a prayer meeting. Handing her back to Him was terribly difficult for me to do. 

One year exactly from holding her at the prayer meeting, we found out that we were pregnant with Gabriella the day we moved into our new house, on Canaan Street, our little piece of The Promised Land. 

After Gabriella was born, I started having a lot of health and PCOS problems again. When she turned one we made a drastic dietary change and two months later, on Easter Sunday, found out that we were expecting another little miracle. We didn't tell anyone for three weeks as we were in shocked awe!

Xander was born on December 29, 2011 and we were overwhelmed by God's goodness!

Matt and I feel blessed beyond all reason. It is humbling to know that God gave us these children to raise and lead towards Him and to encourage them as they pursue their destinies in Him. And He did that due to nothing that we did. Each of their births and lives is nothing short of a miracle. He came with healing in His wings, and came to give us abundant life. 

Abundant means: present in great quantity; more than adequate; over sufficient, well supplied; abounding; richly supplied.

Today I am feeling abundantly blessed and looking towards the future with great anticipation for what is next for our family. We are hoping in two years for Matt to be done getting his degree, to move to a new city and then to pursue adopting siblings that need a home. As of now I will enjoy every late night feeding, sleepless night, accidental bed-wetting, thrown fit, kiss, hug, smile, coo, poopy diaper explosion, sleepy smile, and load of laundry. I savor every minute of the experience of motherhood that the world told me I would never get to have! 

Praise God for His wonderful abundance!


  1. AMEN!
    motherhood is amazing :)

  2. Such an awesome testimony! Thank You God for your goodness to Matt and Emily and Gabriella and Xander! We love You so much!

  3. Em, thank you for writing this and putting your miracle into words. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the WORD of our testimony, and I know this is encouraging so many people already to keep pursuing the miracles God has in store for them! I love your attitude - it is the same one I try to keep every day, especially during those early days of motherhood - to keep perspective and not see any event inconveniencing or annoying, because it is such a miracle and a gift to be a mom at all! Love ya :)

  4. Emily, this brings tears to my eyes to hear the Goodness of God in such a beautiful, loving and intimate way. I am so thankful that you were able to cross over into that Promised land and see the reward of your faith and His love! Blessings to you and your family as they continue to grow.